What is presence really?
There are a lot of teachings around related to being present and being mindful.
This is often understood to be very literal; to be conscious while you are doing various activities; paying attention while you are chewing your food, washing the dishes, reading a book, etc. This can be a useful first step, but it doesn’t go far enough. It has some good benefits, like you aren’t lost in your mind as much, and you might enjoy what you are doing more. This is a step closer to knowing your true identity.
Often the next step in this process is to be the witness of your activities. When this happens there is a gentle shift in perspective. Instead of being lost in what you are doing there is some distance between you and the activity. This distance allows you to watch what is going on, which we call witnessing. With this shift in perception comes the realization that I am not the doing, I am the one watching the doing. So we are less affected by the stuff of life, life goes on and we are a step removed. For some people this causes them to feel aloof or cold, detached. We have gone from being tossed around by our emotions and at the mercy of other peoples’ reactions, as well as our own, to being removed and watching.
The next step is even more profound. There is another shift in perspective and we notice that there is something aware of the witnesser. There is a subtle backdrop in which the witnessing is occurring. This can feel like a presence, like there is something with you as you are watching and doing. Something separate from you. It is an enjoyable sensation, and feels comforting. As we explore what is behind the witness we can begin to get the sense that the witness, and what is being witnessed are all occurring in this backdrop, or in awareness. I use awareness and consciousness interchangeably. Now we can make another shift in perspective, maybe all of life is arising in consciousness, and consciousness knows about all of it, maybe this is what we are; maybe we are consciousness.
As we explore consciousness we can sense that there is no limit, it is boundless, we can’t find a beginning, or end to it, we can’t find any solid qualities, or definitive characteristics. In other words it doesn’t have a form, it’s not good or bad, loveable or un-loveable, kind or mean, etc. It just is.
We can know the world from this expanded, boundless perspective, we can be aware that everything arises in consciousness, and therefore is made of consciousness. So here it is, we are consciousness, we are appearing in consciousness. We are not separate beings, living our separate life; we are more than the one doing, more than the one witnessing, we are awareness itself.
This shift in perception and perspective is quite amazing. So much comes along with it, and also is released because of it. Impersonal love and joy are felt in the air. We are no longer cold and aloof. But here is the hard part for the mind to grasp, the individual separate self is no longer there. The tight, contained, restricted self, is not there. When you look for it you find empty space. The mind has been blown open, the heart is full, and the sense of body is boundless.
We started by looking at being mindful and being present in the moment. We kept looking behind the perception until we found ourselves backed up all the way, to a perception that has nothing behind it, and yet is conscious of everything that is arising within it. Just like when an emotion arises in us we know that we are not that emotion, that it is something that is showing up in us; we are appearing in consciousness, consciousness is aware of us, so we must be consciousness itself.
Let me caution you here. This must be more than an intellectual understanding, it must be known as a deep truth. So please feel into these words, sense whether this feels true. If it is just intellectual it will not have much effect on your life.
